![]() ![]() Many people were openly weeping throughout the live and also the MC, and I'm talking grown, tattooed up Japanese dudes as well as girls and emo types. And you know, today was fun but also very emotionally heavy. ![]() God, now THAT is way more depressing than my bullshit!). Or was (I Have to start using the past tense now with her. She is a beast onstage and super nuts and overall a punk idol and leader in the idol world. We just never spoke, except maybe once or twice, I think? We didn't have that kind of relationship. ![]() Rei was somebody who I never connected with though during the Guso Drop era. It was Guso Drop, which was Burst Girl's old incarnation, with a few other members that are currently in Burst Girl now (and even fewer after today). It was Rei who I saw swinging that baseball bat at an otaku, in that one video I saw on that one blog long ago, that brought me to the idol world. I filmed Rei's graduation from Burst Girl today. I can't figure out how to do that quite yet, but. I'm sure it was more distracting to what you are coming to this Patreon account for, and I guess what I should do is focus on the business of moving on. I realize that is more what you guys want to hear about anyway, right? So I'm sorry to have spilt so much in the last post. Or something like that.īut, for now, I'm going to just look at what I'm doing and focus on that. It burns almost, or like a burning sensation that occupies your every move until you can't move at all. It's a sharp jabbing type feeling that you get just underneath your sternum and it won't go away. Like, have any of you ever been cheated on? It's THAT kind of feeling you get when you find out the person you loved the most is sharing laughter, touching, and body fluids with another person. Honestly, I am in an emotional place where I can't get out of the constant feeling of pain I have inside because my circumstances haven't changed and I get caught in mental loops thinking about my circumstances. because I didn't think I was sounding that far gone. when some of you mentioned I seek professional help. First, all of you who gave me such beautiful words of encouragement in the last Patreon post. ![]()
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